Being with Myself

I took this quarter off from school because I needed the time off in order to travel to Mexico. I ultimately didn't end up traveling to Mexico. School doesn't start again until June 22. And then, in May I abruptly lost my job.  At first I was afraid and a little paranoid about being unemployed. I didn't know what I was going to do with myself. I have never been unemployed before. I always have had several work and school related projects to work on at the same time. I have never even taken a summer off; I always went to summer school. I have always been super busy, trying to achieve my super achievements and trying my hardest to be a super-me. I cannot remember ever having so much free time! 

I didn't realize that I am being handed a rare opportunity in life. An opportunity to treasure and enjoy: I get to be with myself. I don't have any kids to take care of, or any major responsibilities that demand most of my time. For the first time in a very long time, I can relax and get to know myself a little better. I am really enjoying having some time off. It sort of feels like I am on vacation. I am far from board. And, where before I never had time to do little self indulgent things (like take longs baths), now I can. I can take my time to watch movies that I have been meaning to catch up on, read books that I have wanted to read, catch up with friends, cook myself healthy meals, give myself a manicure, go on long walks, and think about where my life is headed and what I really want to do with my career. I actually have time to be grateful for the small things that make me happy, like watching a hummingbird gracefully swoop around flowers at the park. I don't feel rushed. I feel like I have more inner peace now that my life's daily pace has been slowed down. I actually feel more "human". 

I think I'm going to make myself a cappuccino.