Getting Married 101
So now I am totally engaged, and thus totally obsessed with "marriages". I do not even know where to begin to explain how complicated and ridiculous getting married is. Here is my first attempt:
First: getting married is a social event. There is no way to get around this. The entire reason "marriage" exists is for the continuation of society; this is the foundation of the concept of marriage (This is at the root of why people get pissed off at people who elope). Therefore, if you are under some strange delusion that entails your marriage is actually only about you, you are helplessly wrong, and you do not understand the concept of marriage.
Second: Based on fact #1, A marriage involves having a party of some sort where all your family and friends celebrate the beginning of your new life in society.
Third: Since this marks the beginning of your new life, and a social event with the gathering of all the people you care about, you feel obligated to host the best party you have ever thrown in your entire life, in order to impress everyone. This is where things get complicated and ridiculous.
Fourth: The average marriage in California costs around 27, 000 American dollars. That alone is enough to make me sick. A wedding celebration usually only lasts 5 to 6 hours. To spend the amount of money that some people do not earn in one year, over the course of six hours is mind boggling. This is a problem. This problem can be solved in several ways:
4.1: Make the father of the bride pay. As my wise father clearly pointed out at my meager suggestion of his involvement in the celebration: this is an ancient ritual that dates back to the times when fathers (and men in general) paid to have their useless female descendants married off, because women were burdens that made no money. My father was clearly against this sexist ritual, me being a feminist and all.
4.2: Make any parent pay. After all, there are four. Surely one of them will be moved enough by your young love to help you out in this time of need.
I have several issues with this solution. I do not like taking money from people. And, people who contribute lots of $ to your event will inevitably have ideas or suggestions that you may not enjoy... but since you are not paying for it, you must oblige. This is clearly a not-modern solution to a modern wedding.
4.3: Pay yourself. After all, it is
your wedding. In order to claim that your marriage is truly an event revolving around you and your fiance (thus tweaking and modernizing the concept of marriage as a social event), this is the only way to proceed. But starting off your new life in debt is not very appealing. Therefore, you must either be rich or very frugal.
4.4: You must reach a compromise between being a feminist, a modern bride, a modern couple, what
society means to you, and what your dream wedding will be.
Fifth: There is a lot of coordination after #4 has been dealt with. Now the wedding planning can begin. I have always laughed at the idea that it takes some people 12 months to plan 5 hours of their life. However , based on #3, this should come at no surprise.
