Frosting = Sugar Farts

Its true: I'm not a big frosting fan. I avoid eating it. I avoid purchasing it. In my mind, it is a disposable, mildly decorative packaging, always surrounding or on top of more important treasures. Frosting is what sugar would do itself, if sugar could digest butter and fart.

With this in mind, I will tell you a cupcake story. The story is 100% true.

Yesterday Alan called me on his way home. He called me about cupcakes. He had two very special cupcakes that he got from "tea time" at work. He had been saving them for us, starring at them for hours as they waited patiently on his desk for the drive home. So delicious they were almost "sensual", he described. Alan, I might add, has never been a dessert or cupcake freak. I knew these cupcakes had to be amazing for him to be obsessing about them. And, I was touched that he thought about bringing two of them home for us to share. 

Alan asked me to unlock the door, so that he could just walk in. I did. When Alan got home, he rushed through the door, barley said "hi", threw down his backpack and opened the container with the cupcakes. They were small in size, dark orange wood colored, with a healthy hat of creamy frosting. 

"Here", he thrust one forward. 

"But I'm cooking [pointing at mushrooms and frying meat]... we should have them for dessert."

"No, it can't wait... you don't understand... I've waited so long. We must eat them NOW."

"OK, ok... Lets eat a cupcake then" [Big giggly smile]

I peel the paper away and make to take a bite from the bottom.

"NO, wait, you have to get a bit of the frosting with the bite."

"Umm, OK." I reluctantly follow cupcake-eating instructions.

-Dead silence-

The cupcake was, indeed, delicious, luscious and smooth. Pumpkin flavored, with surprise walnuts, and the frosting did compliment the taste of the cake to an extent that I have never before imagined fathomable (I'm not exaggerating). I thanked Alan for the cupcake. Reaffirmed its amazingness. Took the hat of frosting off and threw it in the sink.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING????"[FACE OF SHOCK AND HORROR AND DEVASTATION] 

"I threw the frosting in the sink." [Big, happy, satisfied smile on my face]

Alan looked like he was about to dive in after the sugar fart, so I made sure it fell in the garbage disposal and I turned on the faucet, for a good minute.

-Dead silence-

"What is wrong with you??"

"Nothing. I don't like frosting; it is unnecessary to my cupcake eating pleasure."

Then Alan spent the next two hours being mad at me. Seriously, he was upset. He could not believe that I had thrown that frosting away. He was, I believe, hurt.  Our love is strong though, so we were able to overcome this sugar fart with a couple more giggles.

The moral of this story is that you should never underestimate the power of a cupcake. Think about that, the next time you eat one.

Thanksgiving 2007

So I decided to stop winning, borrow Alan's camera, and finally open a flickr account. [Please refer to bottom right corner of the screen for my flickr badge] This weekend has been wonderful so far. The following is a summary of events of the last 4 days:
OMG! Its Thursday. I'm not at work, and the only thing I need to accomplish today is eating. Warm and fuzzy feelings. We drive to Santa Rosa for Bryden family Thanksgiving. Most wonderful Thanksgiving stuffing and cranberry sauces EVER. Uncle Robert smoked a turkey. Uncle Robert is "the man".
Friday: Meet with Jasmine and Aaron. Hang out in Berkeley, eat, drink, be merry, watch Bourne Identify with Riff Trax. Totally awesome.
Saturday: Reeves-Fortney family Thanksgiving. There are babies! So much food. We took home an entire pumpkin pie.
Sunday: Recuperate from eating so much turkey. Walk, drink water, do laundry.

Hairy Otter and Perfume for Dogs

Yesterday, Saturday, we went to Monterey. I took a couple of pictures:

Me, with my favorite flower plant (aside form Calla Lilies). It is called bougainvillea, and it comes from South America. Monterey has them all over!

I saw this on display: Only in Monterey, California.

Also, I discovered irrefutable evidence of the down-fall of Macys (Sorry Indra). I love Macys. It is a great place to buy shoes, stockings, suits, jewlery... and perfume. Alan and I were checking out perfume section, and I ran across this advertisement:

Its perfume, FOR DOGS! Why, Why on earth would they sell that next to where I buy my perfume. What are they trying to say... that I smell like a dog? How could dog perfume be worthy of being sold next to human luxury products? Its for DOGS; little for legged creatures who like to smell their own butts! Its almost an insult. Since when to dogs need boutique high-end perfume, from Macys? I don't care how many insanely-rich people there are living in Monterey county. Its just freaky and unnecessary, and the product would be better located at the local boutique PET store.

On the other hand, maybe Macys has always been a pet store... we just never realized it until now.

My Monsters

I have many, but these are my favorites:

They live beside the TV, and they guard the apartment.

A Day in my Life
November 13, 2007

1- Alarm sounds at 6:30 am. The clock is 7 min. early, and I know it, so I stay in bed until my phone alarm goes off. Turn blasted phone off. By the time the radio alarm clock has sounded again I decide I might as well get up, because of all the pain I just put Alan through.
2- Eat and make coffee, take shower, find clothes. I should really invest in new pants. Where on earth are my shoes? Three sets of keys, two cell phones, one stupid purse. -All of this in no particular order.
3- Say hi to the insane squirrels who live around my apartment, in the trees. (Think about how squirrels are creepy.) Drive to work, aprox. 30 min. Listen to NPR News or Sarah and No Name, whichever is less depressing. Today Sarah and No Name talked about hemorrhoids.
4- Arrive to work. J beat me to work, yet again. Wonder in awe: J lives in Hayward (substantially farther away than me) and takes public transportation to work, to San Mateo, across a bridge. Talk about determination...
5- Say hi to office, including all three of my coworkers. Ask about any developing crisis in the company/branch. More wonder and awe.
6- Make first cup of tea; necessary step in order to survive following 9 hours.
7- Work.
8- Work more, and eventually goof-off by talking about some crazy work-related incident with Branch Manager (BM).
9- Check to see if San Jose State has finally decided to accept me.
10- Think about San Jose State: Why haven't they accepted me yet?! AHHHH. Life must be more than just working!
11- Pretend to work, while really thinking about lunch.
12- Hunger is too pronounced. Must eat soon. Damn it! I'm out of cashews and cranberries. What is a person supposed to snack around here? Think about 2 bars of delicious chocolate I saw this morning while making breakfast.
13- Ok, I really should work.
14- Prepare lunch: Pick Lean Cuisine from 3 left in mini fridge. Heat. Consume while sitting at desk checking e-mail and proof-reading memos/work stuff.
15- Release front-desk-person so that she can take a lunch break. BM talks about totally random things. Use hour to relax and answer front desk phone. By accident, read in news that Paris Hilton is worried about drunk elephants in Africa.
16- Laugh uncontrollably for 15 sec.
17- Go back to my desk, in the back of the office. Work.
18- Proof read memo of BM, by unsolicited request of BM. BM gets offended. Explain to BM that I received formal training as a linguist and worked for a year as an English tutor. What did he expect?
19- Is it time to go home yet? Make list of things to follow up with tomorrow.
20- Time to head home.
21- Hybrid is empty. Fucking cheapest gas is $3.49 a gallon. Miss Venezuela.
22- Arrive home. It is dark. I am hungry. Go for chocolate bars: I taste the best chocolate I have had all year. Veneto Seeds of Change, dark chocolate with espresso beans and lemon essence is manna from heaven. I got this bar from hippy "green convention" in SF last weekend. The 5 dollar donation I gave to Family Farms was totally worth the chocolate I got in return.
23- Alan calls. He is on his way to school, after his long day at work.
24- Make dinner for self: shiittake "ugly" mushrooms sauteed with spinach, garlic and onion (all ingredients I found at the farmer's market!) over rice. Accompany dinner with wine from Chile: 2005, Panilonco Chardonnay from Colchagua valley.
25- Watch Farscape, my space-cowboy adventure tv series. It is so weird.
26- Sleepy MM puts away laundry that was washed yesterday. Why do have so much grandma-baggy underwear all the sudden?
27- Alan arrives, tired and still recovering from cold.
28- He reads me a chapter of "Option$; the secret life of Steve Jobs. A parody by fake Steve Jobs". More wonder and awe: WTF is wrong with this world?
29- Sleep. Sweet, well deserved sleep. Maybe life isn't so bad... if we could all just get a full nights rest, the world might be a better place. I didn't exercise today. Ohh well, maybe tomorrow I'll work off the manna from heaven, and actually use my lunch break to go on a walk. Sleep.

Halloween

For Halloween I was Miss Lame. I did nothing. That is right. Nothing. I don't live in Alameda anymore. I don't know Mountain View that well yet, so I didn't know where all the cute trick-or-treaters would be scavenging for candy. I don't know where all the decked out houses are. I didn't have the time or money to put together a costume. In conclusion, I was not prepared this year. I miss Alameda; it was my town, and at least I knew where to go to get some candy.

However, this morning, front and center of the newspaper, I read that some 15 year old girl from Alameda High was shot to death in Alameda Park. So maybe it is a good thing that I don't live in Alameda anymore.