The Grass is Always Greener…

A little background: I have been a full time student for as long as I can remember, and I can’t remember ever having a summer vacation that lasted more than two weeks in the past four years. I worked 14-hour days at a minimum almost every day as a full time student.

This is the first summer of my life that I have actually felt as if I were not a student, but a human being that works and toils for shelter and grub (mostly grub). I also feel a lot more stupid. My work can be challenging at times (and I DO love my job), but it is more of a “time management” challenge than an “intellectual” challenge. My brain is painfully letting evaporate all the swollen cells of knowledge that I wept proudly over during graduation.

Ironically, even though I now have a fixed 40-hour a week schedule and a steady income, I find myself lacking the energy after work to do anything. I get a lot less done in terms of “MM-things” (like crocheting and swimming). I also feel a lot poorer than I did when I had only a part time job. How is this possible? Am I comparing myself to a new set of impossible work-standards instead of student-standards? Am I being nostalgic about my student days? Or am I simply going crazy because of the summer heat wave?