Brides Beware: The Horror of Wedding Dresses

Dear brides to be, I have spent over two weeks searching the internet obsessively (and when I say obsessively I mean I have been occupying every free minute I have doing research and spending every non-working moment up until the wee hours of the morning looking at dresses online) trying to find a wedding dress that I like, that doesn't cost more than my entire wedding budget and that won't make me look like a puffy polar bear. My research has concluded that the internet has been over-run by tacky bridal pictures. There are some UGLY and RIDICULOUS dresses out there.

I have however, after much time and consideration, decided on what would be my ideal dress: I want a dress with a detachable skirt. I want to be able to complete the wedding ceremony in an elegant floor length gown and then spend the reception partying away in something decidedly shorter, as it will be hot in Mexico and I want to be comfortable. I also do not care for bead-work or ruffles of any kind.

At first, when I realized what kind of dress I wanted, I thought it would be easy to find one. The idea of a "detachable skirt" dress did not seem to be that original. I searched the internet long and hard and I have found a grand total of 4. ONLY FOUR DRESSES in the entire internet with detachable skirts, out of millions of wedding gowns. All four impossibly expensive. After this disappointment I did some legwork and visited some popular boutiques/bridal salons in the bay area. None of them had ever even made a dress like the one I described; they all suggested I would have to order one custom made, which is bridal lingo for it will be expensive as hell.

So, if you are a seamstress and would like to be a millionaire here is a business plan for you: Make affordable detachable-skirt wedding gowns and advertise on the internet. I promise you will not be disappointed.